Seriously. It was funny. Brace yourself for the end of this story.
I am particular about flying. I have flown enough that I know that I do not like sitting in the center, aisle, or non- exit row seat. So, depending on the airline, I check in as early as possible and do whatever I can to ensure I get a window seat in an exit row. Last Sunday I flew to Minneapolis (again) and got an exit row (again). I was prepared. I had my Ipod with some great music, a book (Cormac McCarthey's All the Pretty Horses) and an empty bladder. I was ready for a 3 hour undisturbed flight. I was sitting minding my own business when a very nice elderly couple came and sat beside me. AS they were sitting down, the woman told the man that she was supposed to be in the middle seat. He said that he would sit there so she can be more comfortable in the aisle seat. I disengaged from my book long enough to give them a "that's very sweet" smile. Then back to my book.
Soon enough we were underway. Oh- the other thing about flying and me- I sleep hard and fast on planes. So, I put the headphones on before we took off and was sound asleep before we went wheels up. Here is where things got a little interesting. "How can things get interesting when you are asleep, Seth?" you ask. Let me tell you, they did. Not so much interesting for anyone else but me and the cute couple lucky enough to be in seats 14D and 14E. I was trying to not infringe upon the man's space so I had my arms crossed, left over right with my left hand sorta wedged between my ever expanding body and the arm rest on my right side. That way, when I fell asleep, my sheer mass would keep it there and I would stay in my personal space.
Apparently, in a dream, my hand wedged between my hip and the arm rest felt like my dog biting me. So, I did what any level-headed-red-blooded-American would do- in my sleep, I jerked my hand away from the the "dog" and (in awake-land) slammed my elbow into the very nice man's shoulder.
I must have yelled
People turned around in their seats
His very nice wife looked at me with such vile you would think I just told her that I was responsible for the outlawing of all outlet stores in the United States.
I apologized. He said that it was OK. Told me I am forgiven and I went back to my book.
Strangely enough, I didn't sleep anymore on THAT flight.