"Hey Mom, why is that fat guy running?"

I ran this morning. On purpose. Completely unrelated, today marks my one year anniversary with Target.

I used to enjoy running, a little. I used to think I enjoyed the health benefits more than the actual running, but than I discovered I was doing it wrong. Not the actual running, that's pretty straight forward (one foot, other foot, one foot, other foot, and so on until you get tired). But I was running with the wrong clothes on. My choice of clothes used to be a gray shirt with the word "ARMY" screen printed on it. Somehow, that shirt made running nearly unbearable. And as I looked around, there would be upwards of 300 people with the same shirt on that looked just as miserable as I felt. And they would yell. Trying to run in step with each other and yelling things like, "I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD..." and other similar things that hardly made sense. Google "Running Cadences" if you don't know what I'm talking about.

But this morning was different. I woke up at 4:30 AM, not so much on purpose, but because of a result of a seven year old biology experiment in procreation. As I was lying in bed, I decided I would give it a shot. I mean, I used to run 11 miles at a time. I could certainly make it to the stop sign and back, right? Well, probably not, but I thought I should try anyway. I mean, I ran at least three times a week, 50 weeks a year for 10 years at no less than three miles a day....carry the zero... that means I ran a lot.

I have wanted to start running again for a while, but I lacked the proper motivation. Apparently, that motivation comes in the form of me seeing myself in the mirror one too many times as I step out of the shower.

So, here is something I learned. At 5 AM while running on rural roads, every sound you hear is probably a skunk. And one time, it really was. Skunks, even when it is really dark, can easily be located because people are running away from them... and they have a very peculiar white stripe. No, I didn't get sprayed. Also- Walmart is a lot further away than I thought. The sprinkler at the guys house down the street is set WAY too high, but the cold COLD water feels good. Geese do not have a sphincter muscle. (I didn't actually learn that today, but was reminded of it a moment ago when the third flock of geese flew right over my head. They missed me.)And one last thing i learned: it is really peaceful at 5 AM in Lebanon, Oregon. Running is a lot more enjoyable when there aren't 300 people yelling and puking around you. Just me, the sound birds chirping, cows mooing, and my 220 lbs hitting the ground.

I may have to do it again on Friday.


Kimberly said...

So did ya?

Bakatari said...

220# I don't know what your complaining about. at least your 220 and tall